i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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