I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
