We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
