if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
