ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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