wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
