Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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