..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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