So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
