i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
