Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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