I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
