i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
