Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
