Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
