But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
