I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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