and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
