I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We are two peas in an std pod
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
