K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
