I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
