cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
