her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
