My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
