Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
