let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
