I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
