all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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