we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
