Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
