You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
