I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
