Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
What a dumb baby whore.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
