I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
