I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
apparently the secret to your success is patron
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
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