I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
