A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
ttyl tear gas
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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