so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
