i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
