Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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