Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize