if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
