hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
