im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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