you win again, gameday.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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