dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
