So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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