the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
