sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
