I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
