You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize