So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
